by Sarah Schuhmacher (Nebraska, US)
Gray hair makes you look old!
Why would you want to go gray?
I could NEVER go gray!
These are just a few of the things I heard when I stopped coloring my hair and embraced my natural gray. But then, the truth is that it’s been about eight years since I “ditched the dye”, and I do get more compliments on my hair color now than I ever did when I was coloring it.
The Journey
While training to become a personal color analyst, I was taught that if we wear the correct colors, our gray hair will look great as well, because ultimately, our natural hair color complements us the most. I told my PCA clients the same – but as a hairstylist myself, I did not fully believe it.
I decided the best way to test this theory was to try it myself. Thus began my journey of “going gray.” I will say– it’s not an easy journey to grow out hair color! I tell my hair clients they must be mentally prepared when they decide to go au naturel. While the grow-out process is not fun, it is incredibly freeing!
When You Dye Your Hair…
Delving a bit deeper into color theory, natural hair color is made up of six color molecules: one blue, two red, and three yellow. Whether your natural hair is jet black, platinum blonde, or something in between – it contains those six molecules. They are simply very dark or very light shades of those colors. Gray hair also has these molecules, but in much smaller amounts, which is why gray hair seems to have little to no pigment.
The peroxide in permanent hair color removes one of each of those color molecules from the hair. This leaves behind one red molecule and two yellow. Red + Yellow = Orange! As a result, the cool seasons (Winters and Summers) often struggle to find the right hair color. Even a very cool ash color will have a warm orange undertone.
The Process
Applying this color theory to growing out gray hair makes it easy to see why the process can be difficult. Color affects color; it also affects how we perceive other colors. Take paint samples, for instance: a color may appear blue in the store but feel completely different at home. The colors and lighting around the paint affect what you’re seeing.
The same principle applies to hair color. If you’ve been permanently coloring your hair, those warm undertones sit next to your new gray growth. Because gray hair is much ashier, the colored hair often appears even more yellow or orange in comparison. Semi-permanent toners can help reduce the warmth, but it will return as the toner fades.
Recommendations
For this reason, I highly recommend routine toning appointments until the last of the colored hair is cut off. Other techniques that may help include adding gray-toned highlights, incorporating darker lowlights to add more “pepper” to your “salt,” or growing out the under sections before transitioning the top. These strategies can help avoid the dreaded “skunk stripe.” Lastly, patience is key! Keep in mind that the grow-out process can take up to 2 years, depending on your hair length.
Shades of Gray
When we think about gray hair, there are all sorts of shades and variations. I’m a Dark Winter, and my gray hair has a lot of contrast, which I think reflects the Dark Winter palette. Darker in the back, with some areas of a nearly black steel color, the front has a bright white section, creating a striking difference.
Hair that is very high contrast or completely white seems to align with Winters or Bright Seasons. Others have a soft, silvery gray that I often associate with the Summers and Soft Seasons. Gray hair mixed with auburn tones almost have a warmer cast to their grays. Might those individuals belong to the warmer seasons? Possibly.
What I Have Learned
Having gone through this journey myself, and having worked with many clients, I have come to believe that what I was taught is true: if you are wearing your best colors, your natural gray hair will also be the most flattering for you!
Connecting with others on the same journey can help keep you motivated during the grow-out process. Following support groups on social media can be incredibly encouraging. One such group on Facebook is “Gray and Proud.” I also recommend reading Silver Hair by Lorraine Massey. She is a hairstylist that grew out her own gray – she abruptly quit coloring altogether – and shares her experience and the experiences of others. These resources can be such an encouragement on the days you want to give up – and rest assured, those days will come!
I hope this blog post can be a help and inspiration to those ready to “ditch the dye” for good! If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!
I wrote in at the end of may to say what a revelation it had been for me to have a hairdresser put in some grey/white highlights so that i no longer need to work out how to dye my hair a shade of brown that won’t go orange and that will (somehow, magically) blend with incoming greys and whites. I think for autumns, especially, and dark autumns like me, it is particularly hard to know what to do, because of the combo of warm and colder colours and, as this post by Sarah says, dyes just seem to veer orange-wards, whatever you choose. I used to like colouring my hair myself, experimenting ….but when you are going grey and white it all becomes a bit complicated and not fun at all (too many colours not blending together). Hadn’t expected the ‘help to go grey’ route would appeal (tho’ admittedly, have had bleached streaks put in so that as my whites come through it all blends better and no need to see a hairdresser for ages). But as Sarah says – it is such a relief to know where you are going, colourwise, and to feel like you’re not trying to do the impossible, namely, stop time. Colouring one’s hair should be fun (even if some of the results are more eyebrow raising than aesthetic), not a grim effort to pretend that one’s hair doesn’t have a mind of its own (which, of course, it always had) and won’t win any battle with it that we are foolish enough to wage longterm. I just wish that Sarah had stuck to photos of her….much more believable and so pretty…. to illustrate the transition. And write to encourage those who, having coloured their hair for many years, now feel a bit stuck and not sure what to do. There are definitely sympathetic and helpful hairdressers out there to help – and they don’t all cost a fortune, or require you to cut it all off, rather than just grow it out peacefully even if, like me, you don’t yet have many white hairs (just pretty uniformly grey roots, so i’ve now discovered). And, as Sarah says, I’ve been astounded by the number of compliments from colleagues ….even my hubby (who seemed adamantly opposed to me just going grey), my kids and, even, my still demanding mother. For those here who read french there are the wonderful pieces by Sophie Fontanel (available on amazon) Une apparition (her story about going grey/white as a fashion writer) and her utterly wonderful short novel about the last woman with wrinkles in the world: Admirable, l’histoire de la dernière femme ridée sur Terre . magical.
I’m glad to hear that this article was helpful to you. I honestly don’t have many good pics of going through the transition of growing out my previously colored hair so that is why I didn’t add them to my blog post. Sorry for that! Good to hear that you have had lots of encouragement to continue with the grow out process. That definitely helps when you’re in the awkward grow out stages. Keep it up!
This article was very helpful, even though I went through the process many years ago, now. my daughters are going through graying and this could be very helpful for them. They have chosen not to colour their hair as I had done for a while, so they won’t have to face the transition part of this as I did. Once I decided that I wanted to go naturally gray, I chose to streak my hair for a while and just get more frequent haircuts. I have continued to keep my hair cut quite short in a cut that flatters my face and quite enjoy my now white hair!
So glad to hear you are loving your gray! And I do believe this next generation has embraced going gray way better than my generation or even my mom’s generation. It is so great to see people content with their natural hair whether that be color or texture! So much healthy for our hair too!